I love the South!

I am officially in a great mood today and I feel the need to share with you why I am in a good mood. My cousin Hillary loves southern sayings, so while I was posting a comment to her blog, I thought I would give her a good one about how beautiful her children are, so I went searching for some southern sayings on the Internet. Well I came up with "her kids were pertier than a glob of butter melting on a stack of pancakes". Cute I know. BUT there were some sayings that were too hilarious to pass by.
These are for my friends and family that once were here and now are gone (that would be everyone but Becca, me and mom). My friends up north that truly believe they should have been born and raised here (Tannis). And for my in-laws that probably still scratch their heads trying to figure me out. LOL!

Now if you can, you need to picture some little old ladies together, and OF COURSE, they do not mean harm or foul when sayings are worded like these, they are just making statements and blessing their hearts!

• He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow
• If you don't stop I'll knock you in the head and tell God you died.
• You're lyin' like a no-legged dog!
• She could make a preacher cuss!
• Heck, she could even depress the devil.
• You could start an argument in an empty house.
• He'd gripe with a ham under each arm.
• That boy's more slippery than snot on a glass doorknob.
• Why don't you just take a long walk off a short pier.
• He's about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt!
• She's so clumsy she could trip over a cordless phone!
• He's about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand.
• If his brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose!
• He's so dumb he could throw himself on the ground and miss.
• She's acting crazier than a sprayed roach!
• He's so rich, he buys a new boat each time one gets wet.
• He doesn't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out.
• It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table.
• He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams
• He's uglier than the east end of a horse headed west.
• He looks like something the dog's been keepin under the porch.
• She's so ugly I'd hire her to haunt a house.
• If I had a dog as ugly as him, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

I love yall!!